Keep your computer safe and read up on the latest viruses going around out there!
Author(s) Unknown

• Monica Lewinsky virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer.

• Ronald Reagan virus - Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

• Mike Tyson virus - Quits after one byte.

• Oprah Winfrey virus - Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB.

• Lorena Bobbit virus - Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy.

• Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus - Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them.

• Ellen Degeneres virus - Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC

• Titanic virus - Makes your whole computer go down

• Disney virus - Everything in the computer goes Goofy

• Prozac virus - Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care

• Sharon Stone virus - Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget it's there.

• Tim Allen virus - Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive upon contact.

• Woody Allen virus - Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card.

• Saddam Hussein virus - Won't let you into any of your programs.

• Tonya Harding virus - Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons

• George Michael virus - Runs its course, occasionally releasing excess data buildup.

• Joey Buttafuoco virus - Only attacks minor files

• X-files virus - All your Icons start shape shifting

• Spice Girl virus - Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop.

• AT&T virus - Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

• Arnold Schwarzenegger virus - Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.

• Clinton Virus:Your computer keeps going down but the Bible says it's OK.

Have you heard about a new virus? Please send it to me and I'll add it to these. Think you can create one? Send me your ideas, and I'll post them.

Contributions

• Wannabe Virus - Looks like a virus, acts like a virus, tries to make your computer think it's a virus, but could never get to the hard drive. Babe

• Hilary Clinton virus: Stays hidden watching the main ram, trying to delete the Lewinsky virus before it destroys the main tower ...... Big Dog

• Larry Flynt virus: Will do anything to corrupt the main frame, while it adds software to the system.  Big Dog

• Harley Davidson virus: Has it's own hardware and software to boost your system, while sucking your support system dry, and forgets about the little bits that keep it going. Big Dog

• Jerry Seinfeld Virus - Deletes files about nothing. ObtuseMoos
  Yoko Ono Virus - Breaks up all of your important file groups, and sabotages your sound card so that the only sounds your computer makes are a high-pitched wailing. The NintenGenius